#19: A Fungus Among Us


There are some people who will do anything for attention. It doesn’t seem to matter how embarrassing or humiliating it will be, as long as they get noticed.
Facebook is a very good example of that.
There are a lot of people who post every little detail of their personal life for everyone to see.
Don’t people have any dignity and pride anymore? Is there no sense of shame when it comes to the allure of fleeting celebrity?
A guy I know took a vivid picture of his severely infected foot and posted it with the question… “Does anyone know how to get rid of foot fungus?”
I immediately called him up…
I said, “Are you that desperate for attention?”
“What, Paul?”
“What? Did you really feel the need to post that sickening photo of your revolting foot for the whole world to see?”
“Well? If your foot is badly infected, there are plenty of other ways you could have handled it, other than putting it on Facebook.”
“I guess.”
“Seriously. You could have made a doctor’s appointment or gone to a walk-in clinic… You could have researched it on WebMD… You could have done a Google search and typed in ‘gross and/or disgusting ailments.’
“Or you might have gone to CVS or Walgreens and whispered discreetly to the pharmacist, when no one else was looking, ‘Pssst,,, Shhhhhhh, please keep it down… Listen, do you have anything for foot fungus?’
“But nooooo, you had to share your secret shame with the entire world.”
“I-I-I?… What was your purpose? Were you afraid that someone was going to try and steal your new sneakers at the gym and you wanted to discourage them from going anywhere near your contaminated shoes?”
“No, Paul.”
“Maybe you trying to reach out to all of your friends and acquaintances to start-up a foot fungus support group, is that it? Maybe you can call it ‘Fun Guys Against Fungi.’ ”
“Were you hoping to attract the attention of a single girl with equally repulsive feet so the two of you would have something in common to talk about?”
“Then why would you put something private like that on Facebook?”
“I don’t know, Paul.”
“You don’t know? That’s a good answer… Well, I hope you’re happy. You got a lot of peoples’ attention… You got those sympathetic comments from close friends and other people you hardly know, or never really talk to, and they gave you your moment in the spotlight… so you’re famous now.
“From now on, whenever people look at you, they’re going to point and go… ‘Gross! It’s that guy with the nasty feet!’
‘Ya, it’s him! There’s a fungus among-us!’ “
“I guess you have a point, Paul. I didn’t think of that.”
“You should have… I hate to tell you, but no one is gonna be asking you to join them in the Jacuzzi anytime soon.
“And you can forget about getting into to any Japanese restaurants around here. They’re not going to let you take your shoes off and risk scaring the other diners.
“And it also looks like I’m now longer going to be able to attend the pool party at your house that you invited me to, which is really the purpose of my call. Good bye.”