{"id":974,"date":"2015-06-15T13:39:09","date_gmt":"2015-06-15T13:39:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/?p=974"},"modified":"2015-06-15T13:39:09","modified_gmt":"2015-06-15T13:39:09","slug":"6-geniuses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/6-geniuses\/","title":{"rendered":"#6 Geniuses"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Geniuses<\/a><\/p>\n

Geniuses<\/p>\n


\nOne of the great things about performing in front of hundreds, and sometimes thousands, of audience members every single week is that I get to meet some very interesting people.
\nBelieve it or not, I have actually had the privilege of meeting several genuine geniuses\u2026 people of enormous intellectual capacity whose extraordinary knowledge has astounded me.
\nFor example, the woman who approached me after a show at Giggles Comedy Club to tell me how much she enjoyed my show and added\u2026
\n\u201c\u2026 and I\u2019m friends with your mother, Barbara.\u201d
\nI smiled and said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry ma\u2019am, but my mother\u2019s name is Frances.\u201d
\n\u201cNo, it\u2019s not,\u201d she adamantly corrected me.
\nIncredulous, I said, \u201cOf course it is. My mother\u2019s name is not Barbara, it\u2019s Frances.\u201d
\nUndeterred, she said, \u201cNo, I\u2019m pretty sure it\u2019s Barbara.\u201d
\nI finally capitulated. \u201cYou\u2019re probably right. You would know better than me\u2026 What do I know? After all, I only LIVED INSIDE THE WOMAN\u2019S BELLY FOR NINE MONTHS!\u201d<\/em>
\nThe other option I considered was feigning shock\u2026
\n\u201cMy mother\u2019s name is Barbara? My God! Then who is that imposter who has been living with my family and cooking for us for over 50 years? This is scandalous news! I need to notify my siblings at once!\u201d
\nThen there was the woman who approached me after a set at the Kowloon Komedy Klub.
\n\u201cGreat show, Paul.\u201d
\n\u201cThank you, I appreciate it.\u201d
\n\u201cYou know, my husband once saved your life.\u201d
\nI was amused. \u201cReally?\u201d
\nShe explained, \u201cYes, he\u2019s a fireman and he once pulled you out of a burning car.\u201d
\nI chuckled and said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but your husband never saved my life\u201d
\nBut she insisted, \u201cOh yes, he did.\u201d
\n\u201cNo, he didn\u2019t. That wasn\u2019t me.\u201d
\n\u201cYes, it certainly was you.\u201d
\nI said, \u201cI\u2019d like to meet this man who rescued me.\u201d
\nShe introduced me to her husband.
\nI shook his hand and said, \u201cIt\u2019s nice to meet you. Your wife tells me that you saved my life.\u201d
\nHe proudly explained, \u201cI sure did. I remember it vividly. I was working a late shift at the firehouse. We responded to a serious accident on the highway where a car had flipped over on its roof and I dragged you out of the burning wreck just before it exploded in a ball of fire.\u201d
\nI said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but that wasn\u2019t me you saved.\u201d
\nHe was adamant. \u201cOh ya, it was you. It was a couple years back, on Route #1 southbound near the Walnut Street exit.\u201d
\nAs if these added details would refresh my memory and I\u2019d suddenly exclaim, \u201cOh wait\u2026 do you mean THAT<\/em> flaming, upside-down wreckage that I was hopelessly trapped in? Why didn\u2019t you say so? It all comes back to me now! That was a pretty busy day\u2026 I guess it just slipped my mind.\u201d
\nInstead, I said, \u201cI think I would remember if I ever got into a near-fatal car accident, wouldn\u2019t you agree?\u201d
\nHe scratched his head and said, \u201cI could have sworn it was you. I\u2019ve been telling people that I saved your life for years.\u201d
\nI said, \u201cWell stop doing that.\u201d
\nThen one time a guy came up to me after a show to tell me that we went to law school together.
\nI said, \u201cReally? You graduated Suffolk University Law School in 1982 too?\u201d
\nHe said, \u201cNo, we were in the class of 1983.\u201d
\nI said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but I graduated in \u201982.\u201d
\n\u201cNo, you didn\u2019t.\u201d
\n\u201cI surely did.\u201d
\nHe shook his head and said, \u201cNo, I know for a fact that you graduated in \u201983, with me.\u201d
\nI abruptly turned and walked away.
\nHe shouted, \u201cWhere are you going, Paul? I was going to buy you a drink.\u201d
\nI said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I gotta go\u2026 I need to go home right away to change my diploma and figure out how I lost a whole year of my life!\u201d
\nMaybe that was the year I was lying in a coma after that horrific car accident… before I was nursed back to health by my dear mother, Barbara.
\nTrue geniuses.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Geniuses<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[22,24,25,27,29,41],"class_list":["post-974","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-paul-dangelo","tag-comedy","tag-comedian","tag-blog","tag-humor","tag-genius"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p614ww-fI","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/974","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=974"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/974\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":975,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/974\/revisions\/975"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=974"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=974"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=974"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}