![\"Ice\"](\"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Ice.jpg\")
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Ice <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-919","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p614ww-eP","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/919","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=919"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/919\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":920,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/919\/revisions\/920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=919"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=919"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=919"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nWhat a terrible winter we had in New England this year.
\nEveryone complained about all the snow, but I have something else that pisses me off.
\nIce.
\nIce sucks.
\nI hate ice.
\nThis winter I have heard a lot about \u2018ice dams\u2019 but I have heard even more about the \u201cDamn ice!\u201d
\nIce storms; ice on a road surface; ice on a walkway; ice on your windshield; ice on airplane wings; ice in your gutters; ice in the path of an ocean liner; even an icy stare\u2026 all bad. And Vanilla Ice wasn\u2019t all that great either.
\nLet\u2019s face it, there are basically only three situations when ice is good\u2026
\nWhen ice is in a rink\u2026
\nWhen ice is in a drink\u2026
\nOr when ice is immediately followed by the word \u2018cream\u2019.<\/em>
\nOtherwise, ice can be very dangerous
\nAsk the captain of the Titanic if you don\u2019t believe me.
\nOh ya, I forgot you can\u2019t, because he\u2019s dead\u2026 along with more than 1500 passengers and crew\u2026 all because of ice.
\nAs proof of how threatening ice can be, that depraved, bloodthirsty organization of terrorists in the Middle East deemed to call themselves ISIS (pronounced \u2018ICE-sis\u2019) just to strike fear in the hearts of their opposition.
\nIce is also very slippery.
\nLast month I was walking down my driveway and it was just a sheet of ice.
\nIt was like launching myself downhill on a frozen \u2018Slip n\u2019 Slide.\u2019
\nWhat could possibly go wrong?
\nNow, I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever fallen on the ice, but let me tell you\u2026
\nI was just walking along\u2026 and in less than the time that it takes a hummingbird to flap its wings\u2026 BOOM!… I was flat on my back, laying there like a luge driver\u2026 minus the luge\u2026 staring up at the sky and thinking\u2026
\n\u201cSomething must be broken\u2026 That hurt like hell\u2026 Something has GOT<\/em> to be broken.\u201d
\nNothing was broken, but I was bruised and black & blue in a number of places.
\nThe ironic thing is that, when I got inside and called my doctor, I told him that I fell and got hurt and asked him how I should treat the injuries.
\nMy doctor said, \u201cPut ice on it.\u201d
\nI yelled, \u201cARE YOU KIDDING? THAT\u2019S WHAT STARTED THIS SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE!\u201d<\/em>
\nTrust me when I say this but, this only has to happen to you once \u2026 and, since that scary incident, when there is ice on the ground, I basically walk cautiously, an inch at a time with tiny little baby-steps, like I\u2019m an arthritic, 90-year-old man who has his shoelaces tied-together\u2026
\n\u201cBy the time I get to my car it will be spring and this shit will all be melted.\u201d
\nOf course, you need to consider that I wrote this scathing commentary in the middle of a long, brutal New England winter.
\nJust wait until the first stifling-hot summer day, when it\u2019s 92\u00b0 out and humid as hell.
\nI can guarantee I\u2019ll have severe brain-freeze from eating a frozen Popsicle in one hand while I\u2019m sipping a frozen Pina Colada in the other\u2026
\nSitting in my freezing-cold apartment with an ice-pack on my forehead and the air-conditioner cranked up to \u2018Siberian Gulag\u2019\u2026
\nBefore getting into my chilly, air-conditioned car, to drive down to a chillier, air-conditioned pub, to suck down a couple ice-cold beers served in frosted mugs just to cool off.
\n\u201cAhhhhhhhh\u2026 Ice\u2026 is nice!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"