{"id":1224,"date":"2015-12-28T16:05:35","date_gmt":"2015-12-28T16:05:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/?p=1224"},"modified":"2015-12-28T16:40:42","modified_gmt":"2015-12-28T16:40:42","slug":"22-alarming-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/22-alarming-news\/","title":{"rendered":"#22: Alarming News"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Alarm-Clock.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-1225 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Alarm-Clock-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"Alarm-Clock\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><br \/>\nThere is a lot of tension\u00a0on shoppers during the Christmas season and sometimes people will just snap under the pressure.<br \/>\nIt happened to me this year.<br \/>\nBelieve it or not, I actually punched-out a salesman at Best Buy.<br \/>\nThis is how it happened\u2026<br \/>\nI asked my brother what he wanted for Christmas.<br \/>\nHe told me that his alarm clock broke recently and he really needed a new one.<br \/>\nI said, \u201cPerfect. That\u2019s what I\u2019ll get you for Christmas, a new alarm clock.\u201d<br \/>\nThe very next day I was reading the morning newspaper and I saw an ad for an alarm clock that they had on sale at Best Buy so, as soon as I finished my breakfast, I immediately got into my car; drove about ten miles to get to the store; got stuck in ridiculously heavy, bumper-to-bumper traffic around the mall; drove around the crowded mall parking lot for about twenty annoying minutes, looking for a damn parking space; finally got a parking space that had to be at least a half a mile from the store; walked across the huge parking lot to the store; fought through throngs of aggressive shoppers to get to the section of the store where the alarm clocks would be; and then spent another fifteen frustrating minutes trying to get the attention of a salesman.<br \/>\nI was already in a bad mood when the salesman said, \u201cCan I help you with something?\u201d<br \/>\nI said, \u201cYes, you can,\u201d and I pointed to the ad in the newspaper that I brought with me.<br \/>\n\u201cI would like to buy one of these alarm clocks that you\u2019re advertising in today\u2019s paper.\u201d<br \/>\nHe said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry sir, but we don\u2019t have any of those alarm clocks in stock.\u201d<br \/>\nI said, \u201cHow is that possible? The ad was just in this morning\u2019s paper and I came down here as soon as I could.\u201d<br \/>\nHe said, \u201cWell I\u2019m sorry, but we\u2019re all out of them.\u201d<br \/>\nI was getting angry.<br \/>\nI said, \u201cThen that\u2019s false advertising. I came all the way down here and wasted half the day based on your advertisement. How can you advertise this alarm clock when you don\u2019t have any of them in your inventory?\u201d<br \/>\nHe said, \u201cHey pal, it is what it is.\u201d<br \/>\nI didn\u2019t like his lousy attitude and I raised my voice.<br \/>\n\u201cYou know what? I came here to buy an alarm clock and you clock-blocked me!&#8230; I\u2019ve been clock-blocked!\u201d<br \/>\nHe said, \u201cCalm down, sir.\u201d<br \/>\nThat just got me angrier.<br \/>\nI said, \u201cNo! Your store advertised alarm clocks and there are no alarm clocks. Do you know what that makes you? You\u2019re a clock-tease! That\u2019s it. You\u2019re all just a bunch of clock-teasers!\u201d<br \/>\nThe salesman gave me a smug look and said sarcastically\u2026<br \/>\n\u201cWell, you\u2019re the one who was stupid enough to believe the ad, sir\u2026 so I suppose that would make you a clock-sucker.\u201d<br \/>\n\u2026 and that\u2019s when I clocked him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[22,23,24,25,32,69,134,135,136,137],"class_list":["post-1224","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-paul-dangelo","tag-dangelo","tag-comedy","tag-comedian","tag-comic","tag-paul-dangelo-paul-dangelo-comedy","tag-christmas","tag-shopping","tag-clock","tag-alarm-clock"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p614ww-jK","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1224","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1224"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1224\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1227,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1224\/revisions\/1227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1224"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1224"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1224"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}