{"id":1080,"date":"2015-09-14T14:42:04","date_gmt":"2015-09-14T14:42:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/?p=1080"},"modified":"2015-09-14T14:42:04","modified_gmt":"2015-09-14T14:42:04","slug":"16-cell-phony","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/16-cell-phony\/","title":{"rendered":"#16: Cell Phony"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/cell-phony-4.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-1082\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/cell-phony-4-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"cell phony 4\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a><!--more--><br \/>\nI met an old friend for lunch a couple weeks ago.<br \/>\nI hadn\u2019t seen him in a long time and I was psyched to get together and catch-up on things.<br \/>\nMy friend is a successful business man and he told me that he only had an hour for lunch because he\u2019s very busy.<br \/>\nI said, \u201cNo problem. It will be great to even spend even an hour together. We\u2019ll just make the most of it. I\u2019m looking forward to spending some time with you.\u201d<br \/>\nWe met at noon.<br \/>\nOf the hour we had together, my friend spent at least forty-five minutes of it talking to other people on his cell phone.<br \/>\nHe took calls from clients\u2026 from his boss\u2026 from his wife\u2026 from his secretary\u2026 from a vendor\u2026 from more clients\u2026 from co-workers\u2026 from his boss again\u2026 while I sat there with no one to talk to and eating my lunch all by myself.<br \/>\nAs soon as he got off one call, he\u2019d get another, holding up his index finger and mouthing, \u201cJust a minute\u2026 I\u2019m sorry, this is important, I have to take this. Sorry, Paul\u2026\u201d<br \/>\nWe never even got the chance to talk.<br \/>\nAt the end of lunch I said, \u201cThat was great. Can we meet here again next week\u2026 same time?\u201d<br \/>\nHe said, \u201cSure. See you next week.\u201d<br \/>\nExactly one week later, just after 12:00 noon, I got a call at my house.<br \/>\nIt was my friend.<br \/>\nHe said, \u201cHey, I\u2019m at the restaurant, where are you?\u201d<br \/>\nI said, \u201cI\u2019m home.\u201d<br \/>\nHe said, \u201cYou\u2019re home? What are you doing at home?\u201d<br \/>\nI said, \u201cI\u2019m eating a sandwich.\u201d<br \/>\nHe said, \u201cWhy are you home eating a sandwich? We were supposed to meet at noon.\u201d<br \/>\nI said, \u201cI know, but last week you were so rude I figured that this was the only way I could get you to talk to me.\u201d<br \/>\nHe said, \u201cGreat. Now I\u2019m sitting here all by myself like an fucking idiot.\u201d<br \/>\nI said, \u201cReally? Doesn\u2019t that suck? I know how it feels\u2026 So, what\u2019s new? How\u2019s the family?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[22,23,24,25,32,52],"class_list":["post-1080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-paul-dangelo","tag-dangelo","tag-comedy","tag-comedian","tag-comic","tag-comedy-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p614ww-hq","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1080"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1083,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080\/revisions\/1083"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}