{"id":1008,"date":"2015-07-06T13:57:00","date_gmt":"2015-07-06T13:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/?p=1008"},"modified":"2015-07-06T19:01:56","modified_gmt":"2015-07-06T19:01:56","slug":"9-not-so-tiny-dancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/9-not-so-tiny-dancer\/","title":{"rendered":"#9: Not-So-Tiny Dancer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/Not-So-Tiny-Dancer-e7e1347.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"  wp-image-1006 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/Not-So-Tiny-Dancer-e7e1347.jpg\" alt=\"Not So Tiny Dancer e7e1347\" width=\"137\" height=\"141\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Not-So-Tiny Dancer<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><br \/>\nA couple years ago, I went out to a busy nightclub and, at the end of the night, right around last call, a woman approached me and asked me to dance.<br \/>\nIt was a slow dance, and she was stocky woman who was rather homely, so I politely said, \u201cNo, thank you.\u201d<br \/>\nShe grabbed my hand with a firm grip and yanked me towards the dance floor as she insisted, \u201cOh, come on. It\u2019s the last song of the night. Be a good sport.\u201d<br \/>\nI didn\u2019t want to hurt her feelings so I said, \u201cAww, what the hell,\u201d and walked out to the middle of the dance floor with her.<br \/>\nWhile we were dancing close to each other, I took another look at her face and realized that something about this woman was familiar, but I couldn\u2019t quite put my finger on it.<br \/>\nThe longer we danced, the more it bothered me because, for the life of me, I just couldn\u2019t figure out where I had seen her before.<br \/>\nFinally, I said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but I need to ask you\u2026 Have we met before? I have this funny feeling that I know you from somewhere.\u201d<br \/>\nShe didn\u2019t answer\u2026 Instead, she just changed the subject and began complaining.<br \/>\n\u201cThank you for dancing with me\u2026 You know, you just can\u2019t have fun anymore these days. You can\u2019t drink because you\u2019re afraid of driving home after a couple of cocktails and getting arrested\u2026 we\u2019re supposed to \u201csay no to drugs\u201d\u2026 you\u2019re a pariah if you dare to light-up a cigarette\u2026 and they\u2019re always urging people to eat healthy and lay off all the tasty foods I love, like potato chips and bacon and chocolate. \u201d<br \/>\nI said, \u201cI know what you mean. There are way too many rules now and it\u2019s making people uptight.\u201d<br \/>\nShe said, \u201cExactly\u2026 and the next thing you know, they\u2019re gonna tell me that I can\u2019t put on a little make-up, dress-up in my wife\u2019s outfits, and go out on the town every now and then.\u201d<br \/>\nI stopped dancing and said\u2026 <em>\u201cHarvey?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Not-So-Tiny Dancer<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[22,25,27,28,32,52],"class_list":["post-1008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-paul-dangelo","tag-comedian","tag-blog","tag-funny","tag-comic","tag-comedy-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p614ww-gg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1008"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1009,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008\/revisions\/1009"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pdangelo.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}